A "lil" stressed

I suddenly feel a lil



envious



of those whose birthdays are in
December.
I don't know why exactly am I feeling this way,
maybe because of the stress that I'm having,
and the pre-aftermath, if there's such word, lol.
And maybe because the songs I'm listening to now,
all by Lisa Ono.
Sigh I feel so calmed.






You wouldn't want to talk to me
if you knew that I was busy
BANGING my poor piano earlier
cuz of the frustration  -------  my exam's friggin tomorrow.
And i don't effin care.
I'm just gonna do my best, and whack whatever I can for my solo
in my jazz piece, "Night & Day".
Like I care how it would sound like now. Grr.





I'm tired
and
my brain is apparently in "sleep" mode.
So yeah.
I guess that's it for today.
I'll post up something more positive some time soon.
As soon as I get my final final final final final exam done,
and get myself happy.
:)





I need to shop, to make myself happy.
No, I'm not a shopaholic, and I'm not a potential one,
so don't worry. :)
I just need to breathe.
Damn.

You only live once

Aaaah...



There goes my final piece of,
chocolate.
*nom*
:D
I feel calmed and all, but not excited and hyper. LOL.



Since yesterday, I've been eating a lot of carbs and chocolate.
Gooohh.
Spaghetti, instant noodles*it's been a while... lol.* and chocolate that is. :D
I eez happy!
By the way, it's actually the first time I cook spaghetti like this,
with tuna, garlic and other seasonings. lol.
Interesting........
I shall cook that again when I get back to hometown,
where the resources are always available.
And even when they're not,
I can always walk to the Giant Hypermarket to get all the ingredients I need
with just around 10 minutes walk.
No pain. Hence no gain. *grin*





The chocolate was actually to calm my disturbed mind.
Honest.
My piano, one of the keys is ... faulty.
I can't play properly with that note,
because whenever I hit the note, the other key would hit with it,
causing a dissonant sound, which I don't like at all.
Dai kirai desu. :(




Hmmm.
I need to practice.
Exam's coming, it's tuesday and wednesday.
I can do this.
I've grown, so I must act like one too.
Though I've encountered some obstacles along the way,
I can do this, with not only my persistence, and also GOD's help.
I'm so doing the last minute thing. Hahahahaa.
Blame me not.
But I will do my best and get this done and over with.
:D





Me eez strong!
So I will do my best,
and shall have absolutely no regrets.
Because I know that time is unforgiving.
:)





::  p/s  ::
Btw,
I've been watching a jap drama,
"Attention Please" nowadays,
and I love learning new japanese words
whenever I watch one,
and..... learning different life lessons
when I watch one.
It's nice. Overwhelming, yeah..

Me eez HYPER! :D

I AM HYPER

LIKE MAD

LIKE EXTREMELY HAPPY

cuz of many reasons

but

definitely not because of

redbull.

:P

Heh sorry

but I'm not really a fan of redbull.

ANYWAY!

I've just finished one of last two exams

of the semester,

Performance studies (2).

Though the whole semester was

somewhat alike the one last year

and what I've been through

along with my classmates

were overwhelming.

Come to think of it,

I've almost forgotten the way

Eric teaches us in class

was actually benefiting us

though the process may seemed otherwise.

Hehehehe.

Well, the outcome is always worth looking forward to.

:D

But it's too early to say so.

Hehehe.

I have one more exam to go,

remember?

Anyhow,

I'll do my best

and get my exam done

with satisfaction.

:D

I can do this.

Gosh I still feel so thrilled.

and

loved.

Yay.

:)

::  p/s ::

I'm going to watch

"Twilight saga - New Moon"

TONIGHT!!!

TONIGHT!!!! OMG IT'S TONIGHT!!!

:D

not a misguided ghost

I am somehow feeling

aimless.

It's the time of the semester,

the end is approaching and its steps are so swiftly.

And the way I feel now is like

leaving my home behind,

but I'm just leaving college for the coming semester break,

for one whole month.

It's a little unbelievable that I'm feeling like this,

it's as if I'm not coming back again.

I hope that doesn't happen. Hahahaha.

Sigh.

I wished that semester break would come fast

more than anyone else, I don't know why, I just wished.

Yet,

I'm having second thoughts now.

Why am I being so contradicting here?

I've planned many things for the coming holidays

and one by one

they're turning their back on me.

Nice.

The Penang trip was cancelled because

my aunt Yvonne couldn't apply any leaves,

The Seremban/Melacca Trip was cancelled

because one of my cousin is getting married

and

Joanna's friends couldn't make it as well.

I hope I'm still getting my driving lessons this holiday,

otherwise it'll be a big waste of time.

My hometown is nothing like the city that I'm living in,

although it did provide me the peace and serenity

that I've yearned all these whiles.

Homesick was never quite existing,

 in my own dictionary, that is.

However, this illness has become a lil serious

compared to the last time I went back.

Maybe because I needed some love and sense of security

which only my family members could give.

Ah well,

It's just another year that's gonna end,

that's all.

I believe the coming days will be interesting and endlessly surprising

for me,

and I know it will be a great year ahead.

This is how much I love life.

I am still capable of smiling

and

nothing would make me frown, yet.

GOD is fair and just.

Take care everyone!

:D

yeah i'm whining :P

My left arm.
hmmm..
The whole limb actually.
I can barely play well with my left arm like this.
Thank GOD I don't play much with my left arm.
Sigh.
Why???
Why muscle spasms now???
Owh... that includes my right feet and my right pinkie. meow.
It hurts whenever I hit the "c" note like four times in a bar, and there's like four bars.
TT_______TT
And........
Both of my shoulders muscles.
Le sigh.




However,
That means I'll have to rest kaw kaw during this sem break. :D
Me eez looking forward to my sem break! wee~
Okie I'm done with my practice....
So I will turn in earlier today.
Sigh. Sad. Pain. Tired.





But me eez having fun with samba, despite the fact that it's really hard to get it right.
Yum samba~! X)
It's 2 days away! (Performance studies) oh wait, 1 day away! aaaaahh!!! *PANIC*
Hmm.
Yeah.
I can. I can. I can.
PRACTICE~~~~~

男孩也好女孩也好，一起看看幾米的讀白吧

男孩也好女孩也好，一起看看幾米的讀白吧......






1.很清楚的知道她不合適自己，可是更確定的是他不會主動說分手。

他只是耗著等著，直到有一天女生自己受不了忽冷忽熱、若即若

離的態度，或是等到年華老去不得不下決定時，自己選擇離開。

妳的主動離開，我沒有負心，反而是尊重與成全妳的決定。




2. 半年後發現，他居然可以跟一個只認識三個月的女生步入禮堂，

令她晴天霹靂，才明白他不是不想結婚，不是真的不婚主義者，

說穿了只是他不想跟妳結婚。

八年的愛情長跑比不上三個月的感情。



3. 這位故事中的男生是我的朋友，現在也已經結婚半年。

當他聽到劉若英的「後來」，居然會無法克制的流眼淚，想起

的是他交往八年的前任女友。

為什麼會難過，因為妻子身上有著前任女友的影子，

他才明白其實他喜歡的就是這種類型的女孩。



4. 可是人往往很矛盾，喜歡她的倔強與有性格，卻受不了她的嬌縱。

喜歡她的落落大方，卻受不了她的朋友一堆；

你愛她的小家碧玉，就不要怪她不夠大方；

你愛她的活潑大方，就不要批評她像花蝴蝶一樣。

戀愛談的愈長，結婚的可能性就愈低，

所以有時候戀愛的長度與結婚的可能性成反比。



5. 喜新厭舊是人性，日子久了，會結婚不是為了愛情，而是責任

感的驅使。婚後的他才慢慢的發現，當時的那一段感情其實不

是不愛，是時間太久了太長了，把愛情給磨掉了，再遇到另一

個女孩點燃了愛情的火苗，星星之火足以遼源，把枯竭已久的

愛情給予生命，所以倉促的決定結婚。

等到真的結婚後，愛情降了溫，才慢慢的發現其實妻子的身上

有著許多前任女友的影子，他比較愛的人其實還是前任女友，

可是他娶的卻不是她。

這樣的情節不知道是不是也在別處同樣上演著？



6. 學生時代的愛情很單純，出社會以後總想等工作穩定以後再結

婚，工作穩定以後又想等有一點積蓄買車子、買房子以後再結

婚，等著等著，等到愛情被時光給消磨，等到第三者介入點燃

了對方心中激情的火苗，乾柴烈火不可收拾以後，曾經在年少

一起織夢的理想全都抵擋不了新鮮感的激情，所以琵琶別抱，

到最後步入禮堂的都不是在一起同甘共苦、共同經歷過寒、暑

假，等當兵的人。



7. 所以奉勸各位女孩子，

如果對方真的是你想結婚的對象，不要想著有房子有車子有金

子，有了一切再結婚。

現實是，等他有了一切，他的身價暴漲是有價值的單身貴族，

他必需要面臨的是更多的誘惑，妳長久以來的等待與年輕時許

下的山盟海誓都難以抵擋誘惑排山倒海的來。

就像我現在若不嫁他，非得等到他有車子有房子還有存款時再

結婚，那時新娘有極高的可能不是我。

因為要等到什麼都有還要幾年？

有能力的男人就像酒愈久愈香醇，女人則像麵包一樣有賞味期

限，青春是女人的天敵。

如果我是他，等到我三十五歲，什麼都有是個有上千萬身價的

黃金單身漢，我並不需要一個很有能力而年過三十的女人來幫

襯我，我寧可選個如花似玉，年輕貌美的女生，也許沒有什麼

工作能力，至少發揮了賞心悅目的功能，一個真正有能力的男

人，不會在乎一個女人是否能在他的財富上加乘。

遇上對的人，莫等待莫蹉跎，也許沒有房子沒有車子，只要他

認真上進，他就是張有潛力的積優股，早點進場獲利更高。



8. 也提醒各位男士，

如果對方真的是你想好好疼愛的女人，別讓她等太久，有她一

起陪你奮鬥應該是很美好的一件事除非你心中有其他的想法，

否則別讓愛情等太久，把真愛都磨掉了！雖然聽起來很殘忍,但

身邊的家人朋友都有類似的例子。



真愛，就不要等，除非是不想結婚......

one of those discoveries

I've been reading the blog posts from my old blog
and
honestly, it was fun. :D
I don't know, it's like you're taking a break, and start looking back,
to see what you've done and what you've been thinking.
Most of it was pleasant, and I have found some answers to my unspoken questions.







Was a lil emotional before I saw this,

"Always believe

that

you are going to get

what you really wished for.

Wish for the good.

Think positive."

And I felt so much better.
Mit tiefer Dankbarkeit!
minna san. :D

In a christmas mood! :D

Ohohoho.

Don't ask me why, I'm sooooooo in christmas mood now.

Hehehehe.

It's especially when I am listening to christmas songs,

classic ones of course :D

Me eez feeling very merry!

I don't need to wonder why

as I know every day gets better

every year gets better too!

I miss those days with those darlings.

23rd Dec 2008

24th Dec 2008

25th Dec 2008

The best christmas I've ever had, honestly.

And I want another couple of christmases with them again.

Miss them very very much. :(

You know,

the difference of spending time with friends and family

 during festive season is very apparent.

It's about to enjoy yourself in such a merry event,

in different ways, that is. :)

However,

nothing beats the way of celebrating christmas

like the picture above.

It's simply heartwarming and pleasant

in every way.

My dream christmas. aah~

*waltzing into my winter wonderland jor*

:)

It's all right.

I know this year will be great as ever.

*singing*

December~ December~ December~~~~~~

and
dancing to the christmas carols... :D
*giggle*

till then,

cya world!

:)

Meow :)

I woke up around 12.37pm.
So I didn't go for the swim, decided to postpone it till later at 6pm.





Turns out......






it's raining after all.




DEMO!!
Daijoubu dayo.  :D
I have Special A      *thanks to yingying ♥*
and some practice as well.....




Anyway, I shall swim tomorrow, if possible. Heheheehe.
Can't wait for holiday. December!
Os!

You reap what you sow

Heh.




I guess I still need that trip after all. And another one after that. :D
To keep my mind off of everything that I'm involved right now,
it's absolutely necessary.
One month should be enough, I guess.
Thank you family and friends for all these. Sigh.
I was really over my head and couldn't think through of what should be my priority.
Some certain mono just shouldn't linger my mind.
So, just shake it off and move on after that.
May you reap what you sow, mono. :)
That shouldn't be my problem anymore, it was never mine from the beginning after all.
I'm merely choosing a better path and have better mind, in order to have better future.
Just without you.
It's nice to meet you, though. :)







====================================================

I wonder if I should go for a swim tomorrow morning.
Hope there will be a great weather tomorrow. hehehehe.
Oh, I just came back from a movie, "A Christmas Carol".
It's more than movie, more than just a life lesson.




One must be contented with what he has now, and share with others who don't have what he has.
Love may not be mutual, but be satisfied of what you are able to give and able to receive.
Selfishness will not bring you far, but kindness will give you more than you ever desired.
The world will never come to an end even when you're against the world by yourself.
However, you're never really alone. Just keep that in mind, at least you won't feel so helpless anymore.






I'm glad, again.
As I'm always telling myself that it's okay, I'm gonna be fine.
I can do this, for my own sake, I can do this.
December's coming, Saaaaa~~~~~~~~ :D
Till then, bye world! :)

me eez not feeling good NOW

I don't like stress.
I mean, for most of the time, yeah.





It makes me feel like shit.
It made me wanna curse
and throw tantrums to random people.
It made me feel sleepy in the end, making me feel as if I'm escaping from my current situation.
No time to worry for my aching shoulder,
no time to feed my appetite because I'm simply not in any mood to eat.
What in the world is going on now.
I'm like this all because of stress, not worth it, I know.
But it's hard to control your emotions when you're under stress, okay?
Oh maybe i know, it's because of something that is going to happen,
in fact, a lot of things are going to happen within 2 weeks time.
Sigh. All because of the procrastination and my laziness durh.






Enough crap.
I'm leaving, and going somewhere I feel like to.
At least I won't feel so stressed out when I'm on a journey to somewhere.
There will always be songs playing in my head anyway.
Take care.

All smiles!

Good morning, world!

:)

Though I didn't have enough sleep last night

*slept at 2, woke up around 9*

I feel like it's a great start of the day already!

Yeah..

I've been watching Gintama since last night

and

it's been a really great company,

that entertains me with its great sense of humor.

Hahaha. okie irony.

But still,

it's been good and I've been laughing

like nobody's business.

Plus,

I can finally play

Bejeweled Blitz without any worry

of unable to finish my projects

because it has ended

YESTERDAY!

However,

I'll still have to practice a lot

for my coming exams.

gah.

Never mind.

Enjoy for a little while,

then practice.

:D

I'm all smiles!

I don't know why

but I'm happy about it.

:D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though my holidays

are what I've expected since the beginning of the year,

I shall continue with my plans

and

try to explore more stuffs

that I couldn't do

when I was "busy" with my college's stuffs.

Hehehe.

Now that it's almost over,

oh wait,

I should rejoice when it's totally over,

when I don't have to wake up early every day

just to get to college.

Sigh, there's so much changes,

I need to change my route to college,

have to get to somewhere else to go home,

instead of waiting for buses anymore.

No worries.

What needs to be changed, shall be changed.

And that applies to someone as well.

Though it would be worse than before,

I shall never be bothered by this

because none of them was worth it.

So, think of the future.

Future's always better

and I'm doing my best to realize it.

:)

GRIN MORE PEOPLE!

GRIN!

:D

Ame•suki

I wonder,
since when I fell in love with the rain.




I used to loathe it, a lot.
Whenever it rains, I groan.
Rain to me, it's almost devastating and it gives me the blues.
People who know me, would say that I'm a "typical cat".
Hah.
Well I'm not gonna deny that fact, that I used to hate the rain, or maybe I still do, but just a little.






Last weekend when I was on my way home from Times Square
(I went there for the Anime Hanabi Festival)
and apparently I missed them all. lol.
Well, there's always next time. I hope I won't miss it again, never, again.


The point is, it was already raining cats and dogs outside
and it was difficult for me to go home with weather like this.
However, somewhat lucky I may say,
the rain became smaller and it was drizzling for the rest of the night.
I was walking in the rain, listening to Paramore's songs through my cellphone,
and for that moment, I felt really good.
It's nothing like other feelings like walking under the sun,
which is a totally different thing *obviously*
or walking on the streets.
Walking in the rain, in anywhere, it's the same. The time and place, doesn't really matter.


It was so natural and relieving
when I felt the raindrops on my face.
Singing and enjoying the nature by the road,
while waiting for a cab to get me home because nobody was available,
that was absolutely refreshing.



And today, I know somewhere in my mind that today would rain again, because of the monsoon.
Obviously I've totally forgotten about it and got myself wet because of the rain.
But, that was nothing. I asked for it. I wanted the raindrops keep falling on my head.
Because I enjoyed it.
This sort of desire, is none like other and I actually liked it.
Well, the funny thing is, there were absolutely nothing going on my mind
when I was walking in the rain, no melody, nobody, nothing, nil.
Maybe I'm just too tired. Yeah. Due to the last-minute projects, I blame myself for that.
But still, I love it. Hahahaaha.

I still love the sun. I do.
But the rain, it's surely different now.
I'm sure, that I don't hate it so much anymore.
Another evolution, I see. Hehehe.




By the way, I've finished my projects, and now I'm left with my performance studies
and my piano exam.
Have to practice a lot.
and to listen a lot to swingy music. Yeah whatever it is.
I have to get them over with and start planning my holiday properly.
Don't wanna waste it like previous semester breaks which I promised myself the same thing too.
LOL.
I can do it.




Take care peeps.
I'm not sick anymore, so don't worry.
If I'm emo, just let me be, okay.
:)





::  p/s  ::
I wonder why did I dream of him,
it was totally random.
And I felt a little different, toward him, that is.
Maybe it's just me.
Okay. It's just me.
Btw, it's not "him". It's someone else. hahaha.

Yeah, try imagine that man is ME

Holy.

I just remembered

that I haven't practiced with my band members

for my next Piano exam,

*MY JAZZ PIECE! MY FRIGGIN JAZZ PIECE*

which is ... 2 weeks later.

Holy holy holy.

I only realized that

when I was doing my arranging project.

Holy... cra...

Urgh shut up.

Get back to work.

Going to college tomorrow

and get the rest of them done.

I hope I can.

Geeeeez!

I want that.....

I mean it.

It's getting more and more frustrating

when I really needed that kind of keyboard.

No, not that colorful keyboard you see from the picture above.

But,

the 88-key midi controller, or keyboard,

whatever that gives me the freedom of playing

the melody lines in my mind

instead of

struggling by pressing the

"transpose" button

on my 25-key midi controller

over and over again.

It's really annoying!

So, don't blame me for making my song

sound so "rigid" or

whatever terms you can think of.

AARRGHHH.

I have composer's block?

Maybe?

Grrrr.

Learn something every day :D

I love colorful stuffs

just because I love the sight of it.

:D

And then

I came across with this website

at facebook,

that was shared by Syat.

Thank you!

It's a website full with random stuffs

that you can actually learn

something different

every day.

Plus,

with cute comics and colorful backgrounds,

you'll never get bored of it.

Click here

to satisfy your curiosity!

Enjoy yourselves

:D

::  p/s ::

I'm so glad

and happy

because i've been listening to

"The Holiday" 's movie soundtrack

for days.

And it really made my days happier than ever.

Hans Zimmer is brilliant. :)

A wake up call

You know.
There are moments that you feel your heart touched,
even though it's sudden and short,
you can still feel it, and actually let it linger in your heart
for as long as you can.




The feeling that I felt earlier, even yesterday, is still here.
It never fades, and that I am truly amazed.
I never realized how music can really touch my soul like that.
It's really overwhelming.
To me, it's like a revolution of something.
Perhaps, almost everything about me
and I'm still on my way to discover what has been hidden inside of me.
That music, is inspiring and revolutionary indeed.
I know my ups and downs and I'm actually aware of it. Kind of surprised, but yes I feel great
that I know about the things that I've been through, or still going through.
Hehe. It's almost like a wake up call.
Thank you GOD, for answering my prayers.





I am truly happy and am really glad that I always have GOD by my side, and in my heart.
At least, I don't feel like a lamb which has lost its direction.
That's good enough.
:D

"Maestro" by Hans Zimmer

If I said I've fallen in love, it's most probably this music playing in my head.
And if I said he's the reason that I got really interested in film scoring,
he's the one,
The one and only,
Hans Zimmer.
He's really good.
No matter what genre it is, his music, is always good.
I love all of them.
:)




::  info  ::
This song is from the movie,
"The Holiday".

some sort of memo

Now that it's cancelled,
today and tomorrow shall be occupied
with my assignments.
*PROJECTS* yeah projects.







Not much of choices.
Just follow my instinct and that's it.
I don't belong to anyone, but my GOD and myself.
But, since when I'm living for myself?
Perhaps for a few moments, but not much.






So, now I'm really really looking forward to my December,
my favorite month of the year, besides JULY. LOL. *grin grin grin*
I've planned things for myself.



5-8 Dec  
Won't be in KL or Kluang either, busy having fun with my darling Joanna and her friends.

26-28 Dec
Will be in KL most probably, to spend those precious moments with my one and only GG Grace. Haha.
And along with my really really precious mami, Raja Farouk and others. mwahahahaa.
I miss them a lot a lot.

As for the mid Dec, I'll most probably spend my time practicing my driving skills and get my driving license done by the end of December.
And holy, my next semester starts on the 5th of January if I'm not mistaken.
Geez I'm busy all right.






All right.
I shall not emphasize more on anything.
Not that it matters a lot.
I have my own life to live okay. I need a break. Gah.
And I need to get well soon from my sick.
December, Jeannie!! You cannot be still sick or get sick during December!
Yeah Christmas. I'm still thinking where to celebrate.
Hahahaha.
Me eez too busy or too tired to think of anything.








::  p/s  ::
I'm still waiting for the confirmation of
a certain thing.
Besides, I am waiting, and not thinking about it.
I'm waiting for you to say it.
Yay.

Still sick and tired

I was officially sick
since last night.
Hahahaaha.
It was pretty okay, although I was really worn out
and yeah the lethargy was shown on my face, obviously.





Woke up with a sore throat which became worse by the hour
and sneezing came long.
At first, I didn't take it in mind especially my running nose.
It was pretty normal to me, cuz it usually happens when there's dust, or..
something in the air. *ooo....*
Yeah I have a sensitive nose, so that makes me a sensitive person also.
Ahahaha.
Thought I got better during the night, well I was wrong.






Woke up the next day(today), still with the sore throat, and the running nose,
and a slight fever.
See?
Drinking water doesn't help much.
I don't like panadol either.
I was really reluctant to eat it, because I don't like it. hahaha.
Still, I ate one and let's see what will happen the next day.






Yes, I know.
Luckily the exam was over, but only temporarily.
I still have one more day to bear with this sickness
because there's something on this coming Sunday. :)
Hope everything goes fine.
And hope I will get better soon, real soon. Heh.







Love lives forever, GOD BLESS YOU ALL
---
Michael Joseph Jackson
"This Is it"






::  p/s  ::
I know that picture looks very familiar. hahaha.
And yeah, I just watched that movie.
It was great. Very cool and inspiring.
He was a really good musician and a legend.
Btw, Orianthi Panagaris is COOOOOOL!!
Gosh, I really love guitarists.
Haahahhaahaha. Very fascinating.
:)))

musica•keys

How nice if I have a keyboard like this.

So I wouldn't have to struggle to type in those notes

into FINALE.

URRGHHHH.

I want..................

X)