31, Like any other :)

Unlike the past years, or maybe past two years,
I'm spending the last day of the year,
physically, ALONE.
Though I'm not, spiritually.
Because I know I'm not. :)





This afternoon, I planned to go out
to have my hair trimmed and maybe walk around the town.
However, I was still feeling a little unwell
and my dad gave me a few more instructions on the task
that he has given during this holiday.
So, I stayed home and completed it in no time. *tak malu*
hahahaha.




Then, later in the evening, my mom wanted spaghetti for dinner
and asked me to cook the dinner for her.
So, I went out to the Giant Hypermarket to get some groceries done.
Before I step out of my house, I noticed that the evening
was beautiful and relaxing, although the wind was blowing not-so-gently.
However, the journey from my place to the hypermarket was short
because I was walking so quickly, because I saw some dogs wandering on the road,
and some people were looking at me.
Not being paranoid, but it is better to be alert
especially when I was alone, right?
So, I got my groceries done :

(1) Prego Sauce "fresh mushroom"
(2) Yoghurt drink (strawberry flavor)
(3) Kinder Bueno *aaaah~* and yes, I can hear the hallelujah chorus singing in my head
(4) Butterscotch bread
(5) Jelly sticks! *YUM!*



Came back home and started to cook my spaghetti.
I couldn't bring my laptop to my kitchen, to prevent from getting the oil stains on it.
So, I put on my "Julie & Julia" 's soundtrack on the media player in my phone,
and it was perfect.
I was totally in the mood of cooking, and everything seemed to be right on its track.
And when everything was done,  nobody came to the dinner,
and YES, that includes my MOTHER,
who asked me to cook it.
In the end, I ate it all by myself. Grr.



But, that didn't ruin my last day of 2009.
The spaghetti was actually delicious and I enjoyed myself every single bit of it.
The kinder bueno was totally the-o-word,
almost like the daim cake I ate at IKEA   boy I want to eat that DAIM cake again!!!!!!
and
the Jelly sticks, YUM.
*note to self  :   Get at least 3 packets before I get up to KL. It's a must!!*




The night was ordinary, just like every other day in every year.
That's how it should be, in my mind.
No, there will be no overview of my 2009.
I believe, most things that are necessarily to be spoken, is stated.
And I know, there will be times that I will start dwelling in my past,
and things will be spilled out in time :)






::  p/s  ::
Btw, I forgotten to get to Baskin Robbins again!!!
It's 31st of the month! OMG!
Next month, YES. MUST. LOL. :D

Random thoughts (3)

I'm not sure if this is how should I feel, now in particular
as it is NYE today.
Or maybe I'm just too easily influenced, especially by songs.
For one whole song, I can be so hyped up, and I just wanna dance.
Drowning into the crazy tunes and beats, it's just too good to experience.
Then, when it switched to something calm,
or even worse, some really emo songs, slow ones,
I will just stay on my chair/the sofa/the floor,
and give a blank stare, till the song is over and something really upbeat comes.



Well, that also happens when I was looking into my past,
reviewing my memories, and suddenly remember something.
Even when the memory is not really pleasant or happy
and I was listening to something which is quite on the contrary,
I wouldn't feel so bad.


And when that happens, I'm either already in my own world,
or waiting something to change my mood at the moment.
Sometimes when something familiar caught my attention,
I'd like to stare at it,  for how long I may take,
I'd still like to stare at it, because somehow
that's where I get my inspirations from.

In turmoil...

It's a new day,

even though half of the day has officially gone.

The sky, looked like the one we look up during evening hours,

for the past few days

and

honestly, I cannot explain why am I feeling this.

Then again, I cannot explain what exactly am I feeling,

especially when it's for days already.

And, I find that I'm back to the one that who's so self-absorbed, selfish and uncaring, self-centered,

and all I can do, is think about myself.

Which is why, I am in turmoil and in a struggle of my own life.

I am not really making it complicated

but to figure out what exactly that I am looking for in my life.

Why is this happening again, low self-esteem again?

This has to end. Seriously.
By the way, I think i need to be on hiatus.
Till then. :)

I find that, the more the days has gone,

the older I grow *which is not really that important*

and

the more feelings I have learned, yet unable to explain.

And when I decided to analyze it, it's nothing.

Which tells me that I am always feeling those unnecessary feelings,

or I am simply numb, that I cannot interpret myself anymore.

Or, I have lost myself, bit by bit.

I cannot rely on exploring per se again and again.

Because every time I do this, the next day, or maybe longer than that,

I'll have to do it again.

Smile :)

some random picture

:)
I like, can? :)

Good morning world :D


I'm up, earlier than the usual days
when I'm home. *those days in melacca doesn't count*
I got up from my bed, feelin' fresh and opened the door
that connects my room to the laundry room behind,
and I did some house chores.


And now I'm sitting in front of my laptop,
listening to random songs.
Just when I was really enjoying my morning,
that song appeared,
"Empty" by The Click Five.
It was a song between me and him, not many people knew about that.
Somehow, my intuition was to skip that song, and I pressed "next".
My heart did feel better after I did what I thought it was right.
On second thoughts, those things that I will have to face in the future, are inevitable.
Sooner or later, I will have to overcome them.
So I thought, why not NOW?
Then, I clicked back on that specific song, and I listened through it.




It wasn't that hard. Really.
I just need some time.
Another long period of time, I suppose.
But it's okay, Jeannie.
I can do this.
:)
Smile :)

Right, it's all

You know,

the beauty of positivity,

shines through every corner of your heart.

Before you know it,

the day has been going great,

despite the insignificant disturbance,

and

you're still feeling great and motivated.

This is how I feel today.

I finally got started with what is left undone earlier,

the tasks my dad has left me.

And when I'm doing it,

I'm listening to

500 Days of Summer's

Original soundtrack.

Most of them are nice,

especially

Regina Spektor's "Us".

It's almost like a gumption,

I feel so much better

and motivated.

:)

Right, it's all,

right it's all,

right it's all right.

------         "Hero"

                 by

Regina Spektor

::  p/s  ::

Then again,

I need my piano.

Or piano that is not mine..

I just need one to play something.

Random thoughts (2)

It seems to me,

I’m taking a slow stroll in my past.

For instance, I was sitting on the same bed with my mom,

in the ward.

I used to do that when I was a kid, and I missed that.

Because I cannot even remember when was the last time 

I sit beside my mom like this, and with her caressing my back.

I really missed it.

Went to the same hospital, at a different time,

and for the same purpose.

I actually cannot remember which floor did I come for the previous time.

However, it’s nothing different.

This time, is somehow different, in a way that,

I’m given more freedom and I’m happily obliged

with my purpose being here.

And add to that, I have my laptop with me,

and some movies inside. :D

This gotta be good.

Every thing’s gonna be fine.

Just grin :)

Mmm

Homeeee.

'nuff said.

It's time to pamper myself,

again.

:D

::  p/s  ::

(1)Will be going to Melacca on Tuesday

for 3 days,

that means I will only spend ONE day

in Kluang for this week.

Must bring more movies/DVDs up.
Otherwise I'll be bored to death, like literally.

T_____T

(2) Chocolate didn't work. How??

(3) Love watching dramas. :D

Few of my best days of my life :D

Hehehehe.
Haven't update myself for.. maybe about two days.
:)
Anyway, here it is. :)





Thursday  3rd December 2009

          

          I got up early on that day, around 9 something in the morning. I planned to leave around 12 and found myself 2 hours free to spend. So, I proceeded to procrastinate for more than that. LOL. I freaked out when I saw the time was almost reaching 12 noon and I panicked, as usual. :P I checked my list of things that I needed to bring back to my lovely hometown :) and found most of them in my bags. Everything was in a rush and I overlooked my white jacket was hanging on my chair. I left it there so that I wouldn't forget to bring it along with me. I was such a fool. :( And yes, I actually forgotten to bring it back. :D I brought the black jacket back with me though. hahaahaha. After most of the things are checked, I rushed off and walked down the slope as usual, to get to the bus stop right down the slope. And add to that, I brought 3 bags in total, One full of my clothes and necessities, one with laptop and one with my midi controller. Boy that was really torturing my poor petite physique. LOL.

             Anyway, everything was all right and I reached the bus station earlier than I expected. So, I sat at some empty space and chilled till the time that I'm supposed to get on the bus. When it was approximately 10 minutes to 2 o'clock, one chinese old man came and sat beside me. He was really old and he looked pretty weak. Few seconds after he sat down, he asked if I could give him some money to buy a bus ticket for him. I almost fell for it and suddenly there's some voice in my mind said that this could be a scam. Well, I've heard about cases like this and I was a lil uncertain if I should trust him. However, I did not. Count myself lucky enough to avoid this scam. Otherwise, I feel sorry for him and I know there would be someone to help him. Le sigh.

                As most of you know, I am a ... kinda clumpy person. Hehehe. :P I got on my bus and I stumbled all the way to my seat. (*clears throat* I had 3 bags on me, mind you.) Then, I sat down waited for the journey to start. As usual, the bus won't start till 10 minutes has passed and I was already stoning. The beginning was like no other, started off from the centre of the city and I saw there were a lot of people on the streets, locals and tourists. I don't know why, but when I saw the emotions on their faces, I can somehow relate myself to what was happening around them. It's like I'm able to get myself involved into their stories just by looking at them. Or maybe I just have really hyperactive imagination, that's all. Heh. A few moments later, I felt sleepy so I took a nap for about 1 hour plus. By the time I woke up, I've already passed by the Xiao En Memorial Park. I will usually look outside at the memorial park every time I pass by, but not this time. Anyway, I still looked outside, all the greens, the forests and the mountains covered by tall trees, it was a really nice sight. In addition, I was listening to Hans Zimmer's songs, The Holiday's OST specifically. I was really overwhelmed and wondered if I could ever compose something like this, so sophisticated and reaching people's hearts like this.

                         Reached the bus station that I requested to drop off and saw my dad, for the first time in about 3 months. Honestly, I didn't realize that it's been that long since the last time I came back. No wonder I felt so different from the previous few times, because this time is for a long time (a month+) and not gonna hangout as often as I did the last time I came back. Hehehe. I'm so homey nowadays. I guess it's because that I've been really busy with my studies at college, assignments and examinations came right after each other. It wasn't as hectic as you see here, but to a procrastinator like me, I have been really busy and I actually enjoyed it pretty much. Moreover, I actually wanted the new semester to start as soon as possible, like next week. Either I worked myself too hard, or I got addicted for being busy. Nonetheless, it's holiday for me now. Hahahaha. So I better enjoy myself now or I will have to wait for another 6 months.

                             Reached home and I quickly get my stuffs unpacked and settled myself in front of the laptop, to get connected with people (don't get the wrong idea, I'm not that pathetic kay (: ) and I walked to the garden outside. The rambutan tree is growing and I can't wait to see the big tree that I missed. (My dad chopped it off so that it could grow bigger, in a way) and there I saw Momiji. Cute as ever, but very naughty as usual as well. Hmmm. Things were still the same and I'm glad that it's the same, so I wouldn't have to get myself familiarize with new stuffs. Mom and grandma were still at the hospital in Melacca, so  I had dinner with my second brother, Benjamin aka Ben. Before we get to our dinner, we went to Giant Hypermarket to do some groceries and of course ingredients for me to cook spaghetti for the next day. We had roti canai for our dinner and it's still as delicious as I remembered. Not long after, mom came back and we talked for a while, about her back and my stuffs. Noted, I have to get up to Hospital Mahkota in Melacca to accompany my mom for her treatment and minor surgery for her back, spinal cord in specific. Hope everything will be fine. :) Wish us luck. :D

Friday 4th December 2009

                                Woke up early but I continued to lie in bed for a while just because I missed my bed so much. hehehe. I didn't go for the jog that I promised myself because I had aching on both my shoulders and my arms. But I still went for the breakfast with Ben at some chinese shop nearby. In my opinion, it wasn't as great as what my Aunt Bibi told me earlier, it was really so-so. We went back home after the breakfast and Ben went out to pick his girlfriend up and they did the groceries for me. Hehehe. After they came back, I started to prepare our lunch, La Spaghetti. LOL. Seriously it's just a simple meal and I improvised a little on the sauce. However, the outcome is, I guess, my grandma didn't like my spaghetti after all. Aahahaha. So I'll have to practice more, and don't worry, I will never get tired of spaghetti. :) Chilled myself with one episode of "Heroes" season 4 before I get started with the task that my dad asked me to do. I didn't do much because Ben said we would have to go out soon. So, we went out, to do some shopping. YAY! :D Something that I was really happy about.

                                We went to "Suteki" a hair saloon that I regularly go whenever I come back. This time, was to get my fringe trimmed and it was nicely done. :) That's number one. Then, we went to BCB, a very very ancient shopping mall that have ever existed in this very town. Okay, it was somewhere that I usually hangout with my friends, and that one old friend of mine about 4 years ago. We ditched the place when Kluang Parade was finally built. Anyway, that's not the point. Hahaha. We went to BCB to get a bag, that Ben's girlfriend has been meaning to buy. So he decided to buy it and give it to her as a christmas present. Aww how sweet. Even I got jealous. Hehehe. Kidding. Well, we were lucky to see the bag is still in stock and the last time Ben went to the shop, it wasn't there, and the price was literally doubled! We got the bag and with a reasonable price. We ARE happy. :D

                               After that, we went to Kluang Mall, the newest shopping mall in Kluang. No need to comment on this one, you'll have to come and see it yourself. LOL. We headed there, to get my heels. I need a pair cuz I've forgotten to bring my other pair back, which are the pair that can match with the dress that I planned to wear on Saturday(today) for my cousin's wedding dinner. There were 3 shops that sell shoes in Kluang Mall and I finally found the one that I wanted in the last shop. Black heels with straps, but not really that strapped up. Its design is simple and one of a kind, so it's kinda my thing. :D The next thing I bought was facial mask and facial wash and off we went home. With satisfied hearts, of course. Before we headed home, we bought some otak-otak, some local cuisine, spicy fish cakes, which turned out badly. Not spicy, too much coloring and all. NEVER gonna get otak-otak there again. NEVER. However, that's not a downer for us. :) We were still happy.

  

                               We got home after dinner at grandma's place. We rested for a while and I was trying out my outfit with my new heels. Then, my mom asked I could accompany her to Giant to get some fruits for tomorrow. So, I went off with her and found ourselves a night market behind the shop lots. I was pretty surprised cuz I never expected to have one, so near to my house. So now I know it's always Friday night. Nice. :) After we're all done with our groceries*again*, we went back home and to my surprise, my mom gave me some movies that I have always wanted since forever!  ---- "500 days of Summer", "Eternal Sunshine of Spotless mind", "4 christmases" and "The Time Traveler's Wife". Hmmm. And I have heroes 4. Okie I have so many stuffs to watch during this semester break. So, the more reason for me to be happy and grinning non-stop.

          

                               Seriously, a great start for my semester break. And I'm looking forward for the rest of it. :) Although I don't have my driving lessons anymore, I'm still friggin happy and no one can make me otherwise. :D

::  p/s  ::

I'm sorry if the last paragraph seemed a lil messy

and unorganized.

Because I'm in a hurry to get prepared.

Busy weekend I have.

Saturday(today) - wedding dinner, at Melacca

Sunday - Grandma(dad's side) 's birthday celebration.

Gotta take some great photos along the way. I need my inspirations. :D

            

Gumption

It still does make me feel like crying
or..
rather like redemption,
whenever I listen to this very song,
"Everything is beautiful"
by
Starfield.






Sigh. Okie not sigh.
But I always feel the urge of running away,
and just keep on running,
as if I'm running towards something/someone
who's gonna change my life,
forever.
Or maybe, for a certain time of period,
and let me "evolve" from time to time.
I don't dislike this feeling, really.





I just feel a lil happy,
the fact that I'm going back today, in the afternoon.
It's going to be a great start of the end of this year.
Heh.








::  p/s  ::
make plans for my holiday,
a list of it.
:)

Everything's right :)

For it's a good start of the day,

I'm feeling good. :)

Listening to the songs

that I did

earlier this year,

it's definitely good.

It feels like a brand new day,

or

rather the beginning of a new year.

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel

when I'm listening to those songs,

happy, positive, settled and refreshed.

Then again,

I think I need a new playlist again.

LOL.

I'll be having the whole December to myself.

To do whatever I want durh. :D

Weeeee~~~~

Random thoughts (1)

Hmm.





Do not question me why,
do I have the urge of being at the airport,
or even being in the plane,
flying high in the sky.
On top of that,
even my mind was serene when I was thinking of the real situation.







Another so-called finals aftermath, I suppose.
lol.
Well, right after my exam reached its end, I called my parents
to let them know about it and it was pleasant, not that it's not supposed to be like this, but yeah.
And then, I was off to get my bus ticket
and to survey around Starhill aka Bukit Bintang for my future spouse, lol, keyboard.
Yeah, the more I looked around and tried the keyboards/synthesisers or midi controllers,
it's better to have keyboards, though the price is a lil more expensive than the others.
So, tomorrow I'll have to ask around, again.
To have better options and to have better idea in what I'm supposed to look for.
And, if it's possible, I'd like to get one next year, by June. Hopefully. :)





Now, my mind channels into the places that I've been to earlier today.
I was all alone, walking around 
with the company of strangers and other pedestrians on the road.
With my earphones on, with the songs that I desired to listen to.
It's been a while and I still want some more of this.
It's really good to be alone once in a while, to not have someone by your side,
it's more like clearing off your mind in a way.
Yeah, I find myself more peaceful and more alert to my surroundings,
weird, huh? :)
It's actually almost the same as what I feel now, "being at the airport, on the plane and all".
Okie, I admit, I'm just slightly overdosed of watching "Attention Please".
Hahahaha. It's not a bad thing, kay... I just wanna feel relaxed, that's all.





I don't need anyone to be by my side, just to share my feelings with,
and to have someone understanding me, as in, nodding to whatever I say.
it's exhausting and come to think of it, it doesn't feel real and right, in a way.
Not many understand how I feel about this, which is good,
because the others simply don't have to.
I'm not just someone that you "understand" and there you go again, with nodding.
Okay fine, maybe I have different definition of understanding between friends,
lol, and yeah, let me be. :)






Enough said.
One more day,
just one more day,
I'll be officially free.
I'm already through with the hardest one,
so I can do this even better.
GOD BLESS!
:D