In turmoil...

It's a new day,

even though half of the day has officially gone.

The sky, looked like the one we look up during evening hours,

for the past few days

and

honestly, I cannot explain why am I feeling this.

Then again, I cannot explain what exactly am I feeling,

especially when it's for days already.

And, I find that I'm back to the one that who's so self-absorbed, selfish and uncaring, self-centered,

and all I can do, is think about myself.

Which is why, I am in turmoil and in a struggle of my own life.

I am not really making it complicated

but to figure out what exactly that I am looking for in my life.

Why is this happening again, low self-esteem again?

This has to end. Seriously.
By the way, I think i need to be on hiatus.
Till then. :)

I find that, the more the days has gone,

the older I grow *which is not really that important*

and

the more feelings I have learned, yet unable to explain.

And when I decided to analyze it, it's nothing.

Which tells me that I am always feeling those unnecessary feelings,

or I am simply numb, that I cannot interpret myself anymore.

Or, I have lost myself, bit by bit.

I cannot rely on exploring per se again and again.

Because every time I do this, the next day, or maybe longer than that,

I'll have to do it again.