Can't wait....

Can't wait for December to come.
Can't wait to go home.
Can't wait to take a break.
Can't wait to be back in my hometown.
Can't wait to taste all the food at my hometown.
Can't wait to get to practice piano at my hometown      
*Oh I wonder... where?*
Can't wait for next year to come.                                    
*Yay I'll be 20!!*
Can't wait for all the excitements that I'll be getting in the future.




SAAAAAAAA!!!!!




I just don't know why I love the first half of the year.
It's like starting afresh with something.
Hahahaaha.
We'll see then.

"知足" by 五月天-

怎么去拥有一道彩虹

怎么去拥抱一夏天的风

天上的星星笑地上的人

总是不能懂不能知道足够

如果我爱上你的笑容

要怎么收藏要怎么拥有

如果你快乐不是为我

会不会放手其实才是拥有

当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空

为了你而祈祷而祝福 而感动

终于你身影消失在人海尽头

才发现笑着哭最痛

那天你和我那个山丘

那样的唱着那一年的歌

那样的回忆那么足够

足够我天天都品尝着寂寞

当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空

为了你而祈祷而祝福 而感动

终于你身影消失在人海尽头

才发现笑着哭最痛

当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空

为了你而祈祷而祝福 而感动

终于你身影消失在人海尽头

才发现笑着哭最痛wo…

如果我爱上你的笑容

要怎么收藏要怎么拥有

如果你快乐再不是为我

会不会放手其实才是拥有

知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

Sooner or later,

this gonna happen.

So, it's okay for me to be a lil emo.

And a lil seclusive.

Because I can finally cry again,

and I'd like to cry alone. :D

"Enrai" by Do As Infinity

Under the thick clouds,
I was with my mother that day...
With her parasol up, she held my hand
As we walked down the summer path.

Her voice nearly drowned by the chirping crickets,
Over and over she said,
"Everyone goes through life alone
Not turning back."

Too young, I surely
Heard things I couldn't answer...
Before I knew it, I was sleeping
At your back, not crying at all.

A presentiment of the coming evening shower,
The echo of distant thunder --
Almost as if to forecast
How we would be since that time...

As I approach you as you were that day,
I finally understand
Why you suddenly squatted down,
And shed those final tears.

Your feelings...
The smell of that summer...














will get the video asap.
There's just none in Youtube.
Anyway.
I love this song. AHahahaha.
Though it's a lil frustrating on how to express the right feeling out.
Yeap.

I can barely breathe. As my energy became scarce..

I can hardly feel anything, but the coldness,
My vision is blurred and I literally am numb.
I mean it.




The only thing that made me feel like I'm alive
was
blasting my mind with Paramore's songs.
Ah well. Their songs are great.
Love all of them, but I love "You are the exception" and "Misguided ghosts" the most.
I don't know. Hahahaha.





Maybe I'm just tired.
Yeah...
It's okay. It's time to put my mind into my projects anyway.
I'm so lazy.
TM is fine, CH and Arranging are KILLING me........
Sigh.
Composing and arranging are not easy.
Oh, finally, I'm feeling something,
Stomachache.
LOL.
I hope everything will be done and I wanna get over with them.
Everything man.
Everything.
Ever since yesterday, I've given some thoughts even though my mind was in turmoil.
Yeap.
I can live with this.



All the best, peeps.
Exams are coming.
Keep on practicing.
:)))




::  p/s  ::

My right hand is getting weaker.

Oh no.

phew-ish

*mmmm....*




Now that it's over, I'm relieved.
There are some other feelings were implicated,
but I really do feel relieved.




And oh yeah,
shit happens.
LOL.
Now I know.
Okie! Time to practice,
maybe in a short while.
I needa nap.




::  p/s  ::
Java Raaga is nice.
Very.... motivating.
and
relaxing.
AHAHAHAHAA.

Saturday Night•Home

I'm bored.





Most of the people are having fun out there,
especially there. yeah.
And I'm here. Sitting on the couch, typing this post, listening to "Saturday Night Fever" by Bee Gees,
and thinking about all the fun that she could have experienced.
But whatever.
It's over.
Over..............






MAKE ME AWAKE PUHHLEEEESSEEEE.
Imma start practicing tomorrow.
It's a lil late now.
Oh wait, do people sleep in early even when it's a Sunday the next day?
Hahhaha.
Just curious.
And shit happens.
Oh I really do hope the otherwise.
:)
Wish me .... a great day. Hahaha.






Take great care :D

That's the spirit

So,
if a man can do everything to achieve his goals,
he pushes other people to follow his steps too, is it?





The thing is,
if he can do it,
why can't I?





Most of us would want to be a better person,
and it seems that it's really hard to keep everything on its track
while getting us to our goals.
It's never an easy job.
And I'm still experimenting, myself specifically.
I can do it. No doubt.
But I'm gonna need more than that.
So, please let me do it in my way,
because it's my life, and I should know how to live it.
Perhaps some guidances, yes.
But never, never interrupts me even though you're not aware that I'm actually trying to do the right things. Yes things. Many things.
If only you would take the other path, it'd be so much easier.
Trust me, we'll never get to this.
However, this is good enough. Yeah. It lightened me a lot. Honestly.





Thanks for the motivation.
You gave it to me when I needed it the most.
I'm a strong person. At least, I'm on my way.
THAT'S the spirit. :))
GOD BLESS ME.
And the others.
LoL.

mmmm... *sniff*

meow meow meow.







And yes I'm back.
:P
Just came back from shopping with my family
although I didn't really buy anything for myself, (If you count the chocolate milk as something, then ya)
nor for my family. Hahahaha.
Oh my gawd I just realized I only had one meal, (one and a half to be exact) for today.
It was brunch+afternoon tea.
Winter Warmers is pretty nice.
Although I kinda felt bored for most of the time there, as uhm... I prefer cafes. Hahaha.
Maybe in a few decades time. Let's see. :)






And boy.
I find that testing different kinds of perfumes are fun!
HAHAHAH.
I've been trying for several bottles, from the same brand, CHANEL.
I find that the best would be.........
*drum rolls...*

CHANEL

Coco Mademoiselle

It has a sweet scent which brings out the feminine side of yours.

Very soothing too...

BUT

I have already had my eyes on the other perfume,

L'occitane or The Body Shop's "CHERRYBLOSSOM".

It's omegawdsosweetnsonice.

Yeah.

Me love it.

The only difference between these two brands is its price, well, they smell almost the same to me.

And some of you should know which is more affordable.

Both my aunt and my mom told me I should get it during December

where there will be sales.

SALES!

HAHAHAHAHHA

Yes Sales.

Me gonna get it.

:DD

Yeah I'm feeling better now.

I've cried enough.

I've decided to smile more.

Thanks for the concerns. :)

Till then,

Jya!

X)

Everything was fine

I just don't feel like dreaming about kimi anymore.
It's too painful.
I've cried enough.
I'm done.









I'm going to continue living my life,
with my wish,
and do what I'm supposed to do to make myself a better person.
Not because of you.
I don't want to have you suddenly appear in my mind
when I'm doing things, especially when I'm practicing.
I even changed my room. To somewhere nobody would really passes by.
I don't want to cry in front of the piano, I don't want to cry with my songs.
I don't want to fill my life with misery.
I'm really tired.
Wished you didn't do it.
Everything was fine.

Leaving was an option

"有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流"












Just maybe. Right.

Yume•Kimi•Triste

This is one of those really rare days that I have dreamt about kimi.
I never really dreamt about kimi because those days were beautiful,
I don't need dreams to fulfill my wishes, or my desires.






I don't want to believe of what people say that,
"Whatever you have in your dreams, contradicts with your reality."
I don't, I just don't.
Because, there were a few moments, I thought I really felt kimi.
They were so surreal. And I felt so much better.
But, I was a lil triste when I woke up from my dream,
and couldn't continue the dream anymore.
I really wished if I could dream about kimi immediately, almost every single time I go to sleep.
I tried.
But today, I've finally dreamt about something, something that made me feel like no other.
Just like those days.







Now I hate reminiscing the old days.
Because I want them to be the present, so badly.
Why is it so hard?

I *heart* my life

A small wound on my left foot,
a scratch wound on my left wrist,
a cut on my right index finger,
a healing wound on my right arm.





What's more to come.
I'm looking forward to them.
Thanks to my clumsiness? Maybe?
hahahaha.

"Empty" by The Click Five

Can't think of other songs to fit to what I'm feeling.
Well, I don't really have to, but I just felt like thinking about it.
I felt better when I was singing to that song, it was nothing like the others.






"Empty"          by         The Click Five
Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I wanna fill this new frame
But it's empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
It's been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But it's empty
It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I even wonder
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But it's empty
It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

(Maybe we're trying)
(Trying too hard)
(Maybe we're torn apart)
We're empty
(Maybe the timing)
(Is beating our hearts)
We're empty














I don't know about what you think.
But I don't think we're empty, yet.
I like it just the way it is now.

il quarto giorno

Am listening to Paramore's latest songs now!!
Friggin happy as ever! X) *squeal*






Ah well.
It's the 4th day since it.
And today's the first time ever in the past few months,
that the mentos I bought is still the first stack in this week.
And it's Thursday already. Can you believe it?
Well, usually, the first stack usually finishes in just one day.
Hahahaha.
And yes that's one of the impacts.
Not that I'm glad with it, or not, that's not the issue.
The thing is,  I'm just happy, that it's back to normal again.
Especially, in such a short amount of time.
It's like it never happened before,
except the memories are still there, the feelings are still there as well, and it needs to be at the least level that I still can manage.






It's not easy.
But I'm doing my best.
It's okay, Jeannie.





Btw, I haven't buy the album yet.
I just downloaded some of their new songs.
Hehehehe.

half-sober, for now

"I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hung over."






Honestly, I didn't find their lyrics any more meaningful than the other songs
Maybe I'm just being biased lar.
ahaahahahaha.
Ah well, now I get what they mean.
I just do.
:)
Well, it's good enough, for it's still fresh, out of the oven. AHAHAHAHA.
Okie I'll shut up.
Still, they're doing what's their best, and being the best among the others too!
Boys Like Girls.
Me like you.
AHAHAHAHAHA.
Oh yeah.

I'm so bored

This is
currently my longest stay at the Old Town, as in the one nearby my place,
alone and so long.
I've been here since 8.30, or slightly before that.
omegawsh I'm so bored.
And though the lappy was keeping me company, and he's really doing a great job.
I'm so tired, so sleepy, just wanna relax at home.
Now I'm relaxing at Old Town.
I'm so bored.




Anyway,
this is a really nice song.
Me love it.
Hehehehe.
BossaNova lar aiyo. I want BOSSANOVA!

I don't know what am I doing *HAHA*

Hmmmm.



Practice practice practice.
Why can't I just get the right sound of that chord??
Uhhh.
Come to think of it, I haven't thought of the voicing for my "Night & Day".
Hohoho.
I'm so sorry Mr.CWL.
But I have to get "Overjoyed" done by 12.
Why oh why, why must you be back so fast...........
You could have had more fun over there.
AHAHAHAHA.





Okie 'nuff said.
Back to practice.





Oh there's a good news though.
I slept before 2 last night.
At least..... I slept till 6 something.
And snoozed the phone twice.
Okie fine. I need more sleep.
Starts from tonight.
Wee~~~





It's not easy.

Fears (1)

I wonder if it's my fault?
No lar.
I'm born like this.
HAHAHAHAHAA.







I'm uber uber uber afraid of thunder and lightnings.
I don't know, they always give me a fright.
With occasional fails, but they still manage to freak me out most of the time.





And that......
just happened last night,
approximately 3:39a.m.
So sweet, right.
I got terribly shocked & shivering for a long time
after that very lightning struck, which a huge thunder came not long after that.
And I kept myself...... ah well.... half awake till 7.






Yet another night of ... insufficient sleep.
oh yeah.
I WANT TO SLEEP LAR.

"Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder

For I have really fallen in love before, and now, this song.
I like it how he puts it this way.
But I've come to this point, where I can only
conceal my feelings bit by bit.
I'm tired.

Over time, I've been building my castle of love

Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason

I've gone much too far for you now to say

That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true

Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming

The sandman has come from too far away

For you to say come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do

They do come true

For did my dreams

Come true when I looked at you

And maybe too, if you would believe

You too might be

Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone

Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover

I've come much too far for me now to find

The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do

They do come true

For did my dreams

Come true when I looked at you

And maybe too, if you would believe

You too might be

Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable

What do they know

For in romance

All true love needs is a chance

And maybe with a chance you will find

You too like I

Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

I'm tired.

But, I'm not going to give up.

And I know what I want, 

will do it in which a way I believe it's good, at least for me,

despite of what the other people may think of me.

They don't understand.

They don't need to.

I can only choose to believe in myself.

I'm not going to give up.

tadaima *sweet*

Welcome back, my darling.
My sweet sweet darling.






MY MACBOOK PRO IS BACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I have tonnes of free memory to use.
And I'm going to do that tomorrow.
Omegawd omegawd omegawd.
I'm so happy~~~~~~~~
It's been two weeks.
That's kinda my limit too.
Missed you so much.






It's time to fill in with my brand new memories.
AND I STILL WANT MY BRAND NEW EYES.
I'm gonna get it.
Gah!

You know who you are

How many times is this going to happen?
How long will this thought last?
How annoying are you going to be?






Stop interfering with my affairs,
it's none of your bleeking business.
Never was.
Anything that has occured, I just need to inform you, not getting that pity approval from you.
It's totally not worth it.
What's there to know about? Nothing.
So why bother to know? Why do you have to know everything?
Even when you do know about everything that is going on around me,
that doesn't help.
You just "know".
That's it.




If you said you didn't mean to interfere, or didn't mean to bullshit on me,
why bother to call me?
Why?
Seriously, why? Otherwise, that WOULDN'T have happened.
I swear to GOD, as this is really rare for me to SWEAR.
Just mind your own business!
You said it yourself, you had so many things on your mind, so why bother mine?
Is my life yours too?
Do you really want to live my life?
I can give up, on living.
I could.
and I would.
But I know it's just not worth it.
I'm still a puppet of yours, aren't I?
Stop making lame excuses, they're not getting you anywhere.
If you still think that I'm blaming everything upon you, go ahead and assume it is then!
Why should I explain everything to you?
Couldn't you just figure it out?
Are you that stupid?
I don't even want to hear that answer.









Have a nice life.
And I'm going to continue my life, as your puppet,
FOREVER.
Hope you're happy with that.
Thank a lot.

tomodachi

I don't know how the others do it.
I just don't understand how they cope with the relationships with various kind of people
at the same time
and yet doing it very well.
Maybe it's just me.
Hahahaha. I'm too used to a loner, or can only be with one of my cliques at a time.
I have many friends, which I'd think that they thought of me as a friend to them as well....
And they know who they are. =)
They're not easy to come by, really.
Those who can understand you, not necessarily 100%, but someone who knows part of you, is well enough.
And yet, they're all different kinds of people.
That is not the only thing I'm amazed at, but now I know that, different types of people can live together.
All in the same community, but may be at different places around the world.
If you know what I mean. Heh.
Friends live in one's hearts. That's why I said that. =)




Well, all I want to say is,
I'm lucky enough to have all of you, as my friends.
And, at first, I kinda liked the idea of having different stages of friends :
acquaintances, friends, good friends, best friends, BFFs and many more.
But now, I'd just think all of my friends, as just "good friends".
There are no really bad friends, ahahahha, right?
Not to say that I judge them, but to equalize them in my heart.
They're all the same to me.
You know, if I did otherwise, it'll be utterly exhausting.




It's okay that nobody really understands me, well, the same to all of you, nobody really understands you, even yourself.
Most of the people at my age, they don't really know who they are, and some of them didn't even bother to explore more of themselves. So, they can't really blame the others who don't understand them, when they don't even know about themselves, right?
We are confused. Well, I am confused. hehehe.
At least, I'm aware of what's around me, and growing slowly(you know it's not physically, it's not really possible for me now, ahhahahaha). And through that, I'll learn a lot about myself and my life.
And of course, I cannot only concentrate on myself as well.
Some important people in my life have helped me a lot, and I really appreciate their help.
Without them, I cannot even think straight, not even one second.
Hence, I have the responsibility to help them as well.
Even though it's tiring for me, as I still have to explore more of myself, to understand myself more, to not let myself be confused anymore.
For friends, I will not say that I will do everything for them, because sooner or later, they'll have to learn, the same goes to me.
But, I'll do my best to help them as much as I can.






Take care!
and
Au revoir for now.

I emo-ed

The feeling of drowning myself into the darkness,
covering my ears, and just sit by a corner.



No windows, no doors.
Just plain darkness.
That's what I'm afraid of.
But, why am I yearning to be in that kind of situation?
Overcoming a fear is not an easy job.
Requires a lot of self-persuading work and courage.
Well, not many people can be as strong-willed as you are, so give me a break.
What other people can do when they encounter people like this, is, to leave them alone.
Eventually, most of them would grow, in their own ways, that is.
While the rest of them, if they want to, they would ask for assistance from the others.
They just need people to trust them, well enough.





The emo-ness.
The never-ending one.
Like one's said,
"The best of us can find happiness in misery."
Which I think it's true, and it fits with what I'm facing now.








Anyway,
I still love "Criminal Minds".
It's hella great.
It made me feel sooo soooo much better.
Take great care peeps.