31, Like any other :)

Unlike the past years, or maybe past two years,
I'm spending the last day of the year,
physically, ALONE.
Though I'm not, spiritually.
Because I know I'm not. :)





This afternoon, I planned to go out
to have my hair trimmed and maybe walk around the town.
However, I was still feeling a little unwell
and my dad gave me a few more instructions on the task
that he has given during this holiday.
So, I stayed home and completed it in no time. *tak malu*
hahahaha.




Then, later in the evening, my mom wanted spaghetti for dinner
and asked me to cook the dinner for her.
So, I went out to the Giant Hypermarket to get some groceries done.
Before I step out of my house, I noticed that the evening
was beautiful and relaxing, although the wind was blowing not-so-gently.
However, the journey from my place to the hypermarket was short
because I was walking so quickly, because I saw some dogs wandering on the road,
and some people were looking at me.
Not being paranoid, but it is better to be alert
especially when I was alone, right?
So, I got my groceries done :

(1) Prego Sauce "fresh mushroom"
(2) Yoghurt drink (strawberry flavor)
(3) Kinder Bueno *aaaah~* and yes, I can hear the hallelujah chorus singing in my head
(4) Butterscotch bread
(5) Jelly sticks! *YUM!*



Came back home and started to cook my spaghetti.
I couldn't bring my laptop to my kitchen, to prevent from getting the oil stains on it.
So, I put on my "Julie & Julia" 's soundtrack on the media player in my phone,
and it was perfect.
I was totally in the mood of cooking, and everything seemed to be right on its track.
And when everything was done,  nobody came to the dinner,
and YES, that includes my MOTHER,
who asked me to cook it.
In the end, I ate it all by myself. Grr.



But, that didn't ruin my last day of 2009.
The spaghetti was actually delicious and I enjoyed myself every single bit of it.
The kinder bueno was totally the-o-word,
almost like the daim cake I ate at IKEA   boy I want to eat that DAIM cake again!!!!!!
and
the Jelly sticks, YUM.
*note to self  :   Get at least 3 packets before I get up to KL. It's a must!!*




The night was ordinary, just like every other day in every year.
That's how it should be, in my mind.
No, there will be no overview of my 2009.
I believe, most things that are necessarily to be spoken, is stated.
And I know, there will be times that I will start dwelling in my past,
and things will be spilled out in time :)






::  p/s  ::
Btw, I forgotten to get to Baskin Robbins again!!!
It's 31st of the month! OMG!
Next month, YES. MUST. LOL. :D

Random thoughts (3)

I'm not sure if this is how should I feel, now in particular
as it is NYE today.
Or maybe I'm just too easily influenced, especially by songs.
For one whole song, I can be so hyped up, and I just wanna dance.
Drowning into the crazy tunes and beats, it's just too good to experience.
Then, when it switched to something calm,
or even worse, some really emo songs, slow ones,
I will just stay on my chair/the sofa/the floor,
and give a blank stare, till the song is over and something really upbeat comes.



Well, that also happens when I was looking into my past,
reviewing my memories, and suddenly remember something.
Even when the memory is not really pleasant or happy
and I was listening to something which is quite on the contrary,
I wouldn't feel so bad.


And when that happens, I'm either already in my own world,
or waiting something to change my mood at the moment.
Sometimes when something familiar caught my attention,
I'd like to stare at it,  for how long I may take,
I'd still like to stare at it, because somehow
that's where I get my inspirations from.

In turmoil...

It's a new day,

even though half of the day has officially gone.

The sky, looked like the one we look up during evening hours,

for the past few days

and

honestly, I cannot explain why am I feeling this.

Then again, I cannot explain what exactly am I feeling,

especially when it's for days already.

And, I find that I'm back to the one that who's so self-absorbed, selfish and uncaring, self-centered,

and all I can do, is think about myself.

Which is why, I am in turmoil and in a struggle of my own life.

I am not really making it complicated

but to figure out what exactly that I am looking for in my life.

Why is this happening again, low self-esteem again?

This has to end. Seriously.
By the way, I think i need to be on hiatus.
Till then. :)

I find that, the more the days has gone,

the older I grow *which is not really that important*

and

the more feelings I have learned, yet unable to explain.

And when I decided to analyze it, it's nothing.

Which tells me that I am always feeling those unnecessary feelings,

or I am simply numb, that I cannot interpret myself anymore.

Or, I have lost myself, bit by bit.

I cannot rely on exploring per se again and again.

Because every time I do this, the next day, or maybe longer than that,

I'll have to do it again.

Smile :)

some random picture

:)
I like, can? :)

Good morning world :D


I'm up, earlier than the usual days
when I'm home. *those days in melacca doesn't count*
I got up from my bed, feelin' fresh and opened the door
that connects my room to the laundry room behind,
and I did some house chores.


And now I'm sitting in front of my laptop,
listening to random songs.
Just when I was really enjoying my morning,
that song appeared,
"Empty" by The Click Five.
It was a song between me and him, not many people knew about that.
Somehow, my intuition was to skip that song, and I pressed "next".
My heart did feel better after I did what I thought it was right.
On second thoughts, those things that I will have to face in the future, are inevitable.
Sooner or later, I will have to overcome them.
So I thought, why not NOW?
Then, I clicked back on that specific song, and I listened through it.




It wasn't that hard. Really.
I just need some time.
Another long period of time, I suppose.
But it's okay, Jeannie.
I can do this.
:)
Smile :)

Right, it's all

You know,

the beauty of positivity,

shines through every corner of your heart.

Before you know it,

the day has been going great,

despite the insignificant disturbance,

and

you're still feeling great and motivated.

This is how I feel today.

I finally got started with what is left undone earlier,

the tasks my dad has left me.

And when I'm doing it,

I'm listening to

500 Days of Summer's

Original soundtrack.

Most of them are nice,

especially

Regina Spektor's "Us".

It's almost like a gumption,

I feel so much better

and motivated.

:)

Right, it's all,

right it's all,

right it's all right.

------         "Hero"

                 by

Regina Spektor

::  p/s  ::

Then again,

I need my piano.

Or piano that is not mine..

I just need one to play something.

Random thoughts (2)

It seems to me,

I’m taking a slow stroll in my past.

For instance, I was sitting on the same bed with my mom,

in the ward.

I used to do that when I was a kid, and I missed that.

Because I cannot even remember when was the last time 

I sit beside my mom like this, and with her caressing my back.

I really missed it.

Went to the same hospital, at a different time,

and for the same purpose.

I actually cannot remember which floor did I come for the previous time.

However, it’s nothing different.

This time, is somehow different, in a way that,

I’m given more freedom and I’m happily obliged

with my purpose being here.

And add to that, I have my laptop with me,

and some movies inside. :D

This gotta be good.

Every thing’s gonna be fine.

Just grin :)

Mmm

Homeeee.

'nuff said.

It's time to pamper myself,

again.

:D

::  p/s  ::

(1)Will be going to Melacca on Tuesday

for 3 days,

that means I will only spend ONE day

in Kluang for this week.

Must bring more movies/DVDs up.
Otherwise I'll be bored to death, like literally.

T_____T

(2) Chocolate didn't work. How??

(3) Love watching dramas. :D